Identity development has always felt objectively performative. And, by definition of James Marcia accessed in modern US academic databases, it is: you do something, something or someone reacts, you analyze the intersection of your reaction with their reaction, you place subjective quality on interaction, and decide to do it again or not.
The concept of identity based on performance feels like another term for “masking.” We know nonconsensual chronic masking is devastating to neurodivergent bodies.
One problem with overidentifying the process of developing gender, though, is that gender is such a dynamic concept. Your personal understanding of gender has gone through a literal lifetime of changes. So has mine.
I am not sure that we talk about that enough: we really do change every single day, every single breath, every single heart beat.
Me
If we have the privilege of living within Neurodiversity culture, we exist with others that believe you/me/we/they have a right to change every single day. If we have the right to define ourselves every single day, then we accept that gender is dynamic. Static gender assignment causes potential accumulations of harm.
Binary terms do not serve a dynamic experience, but they do provide anchors in systems. These systems provide access to resources and supports the aid in the development of identity. Therefore, access to these systems provide opportunities for gender expression.
However, most of these systems use binary expressions of gender which systemically limit and gender expression. This is an example of self-perpetuating and self-sustaining systemic violence.
Self-perpetuating systems of supremacy are a design feature, not a design flaw.
When we are having discussions on issues of supremacy, it is important to acknowledge that many of us are currently existing in systems of supremacy. It is also important for us to acknowledge that many of us learn ways to be helpful and supportive from systems of supremacy. That acknowledgment is not a moral failing. It is simply just data to affirm potential privilege.
-Me
There are advocates and activists to consent to the systems with the express purpose of supporting diverse individuals to navigate the system itself. Navigating a system unsupported is a violence for anyone, but ESPECIALLY those of us who have limited cognitive capacity for sustained attention to protocol and multi-step processes that drain executive function. The opposite side of this truth is that social systems can be exploited, but that is not the problem of, responsibility of, or unpaid labor of disabled individuals to solve.
Back to the topic:
gender and autism.
I have learned many things over the years and, when learning about gender, I have learned one resonating truth: protect trans kids. As I think about gender x autism x US, I’m reminded to stay focused on that pledge.
I don’t know quite how to talk about this yet, but I’m grateful for the space to continue the conversation. Comments are appreciated.