It actually factually did.
My husband and I have been together for 23 years – this coming June will be our 20th wedding anniversary. I truly believe that understanding our sensory profiles helped us stay together, happy. We are both neurodivergent and have COMPLETELY DIFFERENT profiles.
Over a decade ago, I started learning about sensory profiles. My son had been identified as autistic and, per the cliché, I was next in line to realize I was autistic, too.
I have a veerrrrrry low-low-low tactile threshold. I am hypervigilant to touch and most touch is uncomfortable to me. Love’s got nothing to do with it – if someone light touches me, my systems immediately flare into DANGER MODE.
We have a pre-bed cuddle routine but I cannot be touched while sleeping, and my husband has always been fine with this. However, we still struggled to sleep together.
I would startle awake multiple times a night PISSED, confused, and ready to fight.
This made little sense to me because I genuinely like my husband and had no idea why I turned into a rage monster most nights. It was uncomfortable for me and it caused issues in our marriage. One, nobody was getting good sleep, and two, we were both confused by the intensity of my reactions.
And then I took my sensory profile and saw my low-low-low touch threshold and suddenly everything clicked – it was the blanket.
Yes, the blanket. My husband would shift in the night as human beings are wont to do, and it would slide the comforter ever so slightly against my body, and BOOM – all my trauma systems were activated. Enter Rage Sarah.
It would take forever for me to fall back asleep due to my system dysregulation.
What was the solution?
Get another comforter.
My own blanket = no shifting fabric against my skin = a solid night’s sleep.
For me, it was as simple as that. Finding ways to protect my low threshold systems and saturate my high threshold systems meant my brain was regulated. My sensory gating system healed. Sleep is so, so important and I finally was able to access its restorative benefits on a consistent basis.